This week I am traveling for work and attending a conference with about 120 people. We are a group of educators mostly women, but there is one man who is attending the conference. Before reading the information provided this week, I would have not considered the following example as a micro-aggression. Several of us have teasingly said, on several occasions this week, "Tell us how you really feel being the only man in a room full of women." or "Sorry Tom, it's a woman thing" or "You sure you can handle this?". None us have intentionally spoken to Tom to hurt him or invalidate him as an educator, a counselor or a person. However, Dr. Sue spoke of micro-aggression reflecting "views of inferiority/superiority and inclusions/exclusions" (Laureate Education, 2011). I did not consider this to be micro-aggression until I have been reflecting. Honestly, I feel a bit sad that we might have made him feel less than, or out of place. He is a great guy and I have learned a lot from him and with him this week. My perception of the effects of stereotypes has broadened through this experience. Even if it is in a "fun-loving" way, stereotypes can be hurtful. We have to be aware of our own biases and intentionally work to avoid stereotyping.
Reference:
Laureate Education (Producer). (2011). Microaggressions in everyday life [Video file]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu
Geez, poor Tom. LOL. You are correct; sometimes we say things without thinking and certainly without harmful intent. However, although the intent may not be there, the outcome is the same. We have a saying in our family: "when you know better, you do better." Now that you know, I am sure you WILL do BETTER!
ReplyDeleteTomica,
DeleteYes! I love that saying and I WILL do BETTER!
Thanks for your comment!
Rachael
There is not doubt that everything happens for a reason. You being in the conference gave you the experience that microaggression can happen anywhere. I feel for Tom, but also hats off for him working in a field that the majority is woman. Do you think you can ask Tom how he felt whenever people were making those kinds of remarks.
ReplyDeleteLaura,
DeleteI did ask him! He laughed when I told him that I wrote about him in my blog for Grad School and then we had a really great conversation about micro-aggression. He had not heard the term exactly that way before and was interested in all the things I learned. He was a great guy and I was honored to be a part of the conference with him. I learned a lot from him!
Thanks for your comment!
Rachael
Rachael,
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like an example from our dicussion about microaggressions with Alejandro. Poor Tom! hopefully he will feel comfortable and not feel discouraged by the comments.
Tulanni,
DeleteIt does sound like that example! Tom was a great guy and I was able to have a conversation with him about micro-aggression and how often if occurs.
Thanks for your comment!
Rachael