Assessments

What is the one thing that surprised you the most? Why? 

The thing that surprised me the most was that most of the results were in the same range. I asked my husband and my assistant director to complete the assessments and their results were very close to mine. This surprised me because I thought my assistant director's scores would be harsher than mine and definitely harsher than my husbands. She sees me in a different light than my husband and myself, being my boss and I was excited to see that she sees me as a competent communicator. The scores for Listening Styles were me 37, my husband 37 and my assistant director 36. For Verbal Aggressiveness me 66, my husband 59 and my assistant director 62. For Communication Anxiety me 42, my husband 38 and my assistant director 32. This was the only assessment where the results were not in the same range. With the exception of the listening styles assessment which did not show the results the same way.   

What other insights about communication did you gain this week? 

I gained the insight that it is important to self-assess and to ask others to assess you as well. We could think that we are communicating well and find out through others that we are in fact not. 


Choose at least two to share with others through your blog and consider how each might inform your professional work and personal life.

The scores in Communication Anxiety taught me that I am comfortable with communicating with others in most situations. This is helpful for me in our field because it is a goal of mine to be a Conscious Discipline Certified Instructor. If I am able to do this, I will be put into situations where I must communicate the principals of Conscious Discipline effectively. This assessment gave me more confidence in my ability to reach for this goal. 
The scores for Verbal Aggressiveness taught me that I have grown a lot in my communication skills. I am proud to say that I consider others when speaking to them and even if I do not agree with their statements, I am typically able to disagree respectfully. This has not always been the case in my life, as I have grown as an educator and as a person this has become the case. This is helpful in my life personally and professionally because there will always be someone with a different point of view and it is important to treat others with respect! 

Communication and Culture

Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures? If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently?

 I do believe that I communicate differently with various people. With my best friend at work, we use a lot of non-verbal communication, eye contact and phrases that mean something specifically to us. She is from a different ethnic group than me, and has a different culture but we have communicated this way almost from the moment we met. She and I have a strong relationship and I think that is what makes it easier to communicate with her.
I also am more formal with other co-workers than I am with her. It seems that I communicate differently with each of my co-workers and because of the way our building is set up, I simply do not communicate with some co-workers on a daily basis. For example, the infant room is on the other side of the building than the preschool rooms and I rarely see those teachers.
Some of my co-workers are from the Philippines and have strong accents which means I have to ask for clarification more often and it sometimes seems as if it irritates them, but I do not want to have miscommunication because I did not clarify.

Three strategies I could use to help me communicate more effectively with people from different groups and cultures are:
1. Listen more, speak less. I think I talk too much at times not giving enough time for the me to hear the other person.
2. Treat others the way I want to be treated in communication. Respect goes a long way.
3. Be intentional in asking questions to gain more understanding of a culture or person.

Observing Communication in a Sitcom

For this assignment, I chose to watch the Dick Van Dyke Show.  I love Dick Van Dyke especially in his role as Bert in Mary Poppins. When I was scrolling through Netflix to find a show to watch for the blog assignment, I ran across this one. I honestly am not sure why I have never watched it before, but really enjoyed it!

While watching it with the sound off, I could see the relationship between a mom and a son, a husband and wife and co-workers. I could see the relationship between mother and son by the way  the woman was caring for the boy, looking at him and offering him a snack etc. She showed concern for him that I could see in her facial expressions, eyes and overall demeanor. I could see the man and woman were husband and wife because of the expressions of love, hugging, kissing and the look in their eyes. ;) Co-workers were easy to see because of the environment that the sitcom presented. They were in an office space and their body language showed irritation and angst when the man who I can only assume was the boss walked into the room.

During the course of the show, I was able to see love, concern, enjoyment and irritation in the non-verbal communication. The wife would roll her eyes at the husband at certain points, the boss was unaware of the looks on his employees faces when he walked into the room and probably would have been upset if he had seen them! Enjoyment was seen as there was a lot of smiling and laughing. At one point it seemed as if the husband and wife were having an argument or at least a heated discussion!
When I watched it with the sound on, I found I was correct in the assumptions I made about the relationships between the cast. There was an argument between the husband and wife about going to a party at the boss's house while their son was sick. The concern for the son the mother was showing was because she thought he was sick because he did not want a cupcake! The sound made it easier to follow the plot, but I was correct in my assumptions about what they were communicating non-verbally. I do believe that I would have known more if this had been a show that I normally watch. This was season 1 episode 1, so I am not sure that I would have known the characters any better than I do now since watching it.

I have learned through this experience that while non-verbal communication shows a lot, it is best partnered with verbal communication, especially when assessing a sitcom. I do not know the people in the sitcom, they are pretend, with pretend scenarios. In a real life communication situation, non-verbal cues can speak volumes before the verbal communication even begins to come into play. I come away from this assignment with a realization that relationships are even more vital than I already thought. I know the look on my husband's face when he is "done" at a party or event. I know the tone of voice from my best friend that says, "I need a break". Non-verbal and verbal communication go hand-in-hand and relationship extends a person's ability to "read" said communication.

Effective Communication

When I think of someone who is an effective communicator, I think of my husband. He is a pastor who works with men who have had life controlling addictions, struggles and have been in jail for various reasons. In the residential program that we serve in, my husband talks to these guys on a one-on-one basis, in group settings and once a week goes to the county jail to talk to the guys there. He creates an environment of caring, respectful interactions with a no nonsense point of view. He makes eye contact with them, engages them in the conversation and presents himself as the open and honest man he is. He speaks to them as if he is speaking to a friend and relates their situations with his own life choices before coming to know the Lord. I desire to model these communication skills! Being able to create an environment for open communication is so powerful and helpful to solving problems, creating relationships and connecting with people. I want to connect with people in authentic ways, and I believe if I am able to model some of the communication behaviors I see in my husband I will be able to do so.